Book Recommendation: For Couples Only: Eye-opening Insights About How the Opposite Sex Thinks by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Source: Amazon.com

Source: Amazon.com

This is a short, easy, fun, read that takes you inside the brain of the opposite sex. This compilation includes the bestselling books For Women Only and For Men Only. My husband Josh and I read each book in about a day.

Data, not Tips

Unlike a lot of marriage books, this is not a self-help book. Instead of the authors expressing their opinions about what you're doing right or wrong in your relationship, Shaunti Feldhahn and her husband Jeff reveal insightful data based on years of brain research and responses to surveys given to thousands of people. While the authors briefly mention their Christian worldview, the vast majority of the content is strictly scientific data. The data is clearly presented in graphs and the authors take the time to explain why each topic is important to your relationship.

Eye-opening Insights

Some data confirmed what I already knew, but a lot of it was super eye-opening! How many conflicts have arisen because you've assumed you understand where your partner is coming from?

For example, sometimes I ask Josh, "whatcha thinkin' about?" and he'll say, "nothin'." Nothing!? How can that be possible? I've always got like 5 or more things on my mind at a time! Why doesn't he want to open up to me and share what he's thinking about? Are we in a fight? Is he hiding something!?

Then I read how many men experience the exact same thing! Apparently, a lot of guys really don't have anything on their mind sometimes, which is something I'm not even physically capable of. I've learned to accept Josh really has "nothin'" on his mind sometimes, and he's learned to say, "Tell me 3 of the things that are on your mind right now."

Application

As this is not a how-to book, it's up to you to determine how to apply what you've learned to your relationship. Josh and I found it most helpful to read both books so that we could discuss them together. 

Are all men the same? Do all women think the same way? Well no, of course not! But this book is a valuable conversation starter. For example, I could say to Josh, "the majority of men polled in this book answered ________. Do you agree, or do you see things differently?" A lot of times he agreed, but if he didn't, he had a framework for explaining where he was coming from.

In a Nutshell 

This book is great for anyone in a relationship, whether you're a new couple or you've been married 20 years. A wise mentor once told us the best gift we can give to our spouse is understanding ourselves better. This book was helpful for us because we not only gained a deeper understanding of how our spouse thinks, but also how we think ourselves. That means ultimately, we can communicate and care for each other better; isn't that all anybody really wants for their marriage?

You can pick up For Couples Only: Eye-opening Insights About How the Opposite Sex Thinks by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn for about $10 on Amazon. Please note, I don't make any money off this recommendation, and only suggest books that have really impacted me or my friends.

Have you read this book? If so, comment below with your thoughts!